Road marked with suffering
No one said it would be easy.... Listening and waiting for God's voice and direction. It's not easy choosing to have joy and peace in the midst of practical heart break. I don't get it. I know this blog is melancholy but maybe putting it into typed words will bring enough peace for today.
As I was saying, I don't get it. I don't get God's divine plan, why he has chosen this specific hurt to hurt me now. He needed my attention and he's definetly got it! It's hard sometimes, but I know to walk in faith. I know that I have to set my sights and our Lord and know, KNOW, beyond a shadow of doubt that he will bring deliverance. It makes no sense to me now, but I know that God work for the good of those who love him. ALWAYS. It's his promise. And I must remember that no matter what I will come out stronger and with much more faith. I've already been blessed by being 'desperate' enough to pray OUT LOUD with Jaden and to take steps towards making our relationship more Godly. I pray THESE are the steps God is asking me to take, not something more durastic. I'm terrified of the latter, but I know that fear isn't of God. I know that if God wants me to do the unthinkable, I will do it, even though my feeble mind can't see any sort of a future for myself if I do that. I must remember that it's not about ME.
I just have to keep praising God, reading His Word and keep finding peace in his promise to deliver me, and just hope that He's doing this to STRENGTHEN mine and Jaden's relationship, not get rid of it.
With this much being said, I'm asking you, Reader, whoever you are, to keep us in your prayers. Please pray for my ability to hear God's voice and to do whatever He asks of me. Thank you, God bless.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you" Jeremiah 29:11
"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know our suffering produces perserverances, perserverance, character and character, hope. And hope does not dissapoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:2